Skydive Series 1: Can't Shake You
by r2roswell
Summary: AU. Beckett is 16. Castle is 21. They meet each other before Castle becomes a famed author and Beckett becomes a well known detective and what insues is one blissful night that will haunt them as first love usually does.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note #1:** _Major thanks to a friend of mine. This was her idea. I simply am the fingers and brain behind the details and I can only hope that this story adds up to the justice she deserves. _ _And I was more than thrilled that she allowed me to write it._

**Author's Note #2:** _For the sake of the story the age doesn't follow the age set in place by the show. There is only a 5 year gap between Beckett and Castle instead of the 10 year that the show has._

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

Sixteen year old Katherine Beckett didn't know what time it was as she snuck back into her bedroom early Sunday morning.

"Late night," her father Jim asked as he stood near her door, arms crossed.

Kate should have figured it wouldn't be that easy.

"You out drinking again tonight," he asked.

"I didn't drink tonight I swear," said Kate as she planted her feet on the floor.

"Then why'd you go out?"

"I wanted to have fun what's wrong with that?"

"On a school night, there's a bunch wrong with that. You have class this morning. It's late, we'll talk more about this when your mom gets home tonight but Katie, this has got to stop. We've put up with this behavior for a year but it stops now."

"Dad can we do this later? I'm tired and I have school in a few hours."

"Are you even going or will we have to hear about you ditching again? It's what you do Katie: you go out to a party and then ditch class the next day because you're either tired or hung over."

"Then I'll prove you wrong."

"Sure, I'd like to see that someday," Jim said leaving the room.

* * *

Two weeks later Kate sat in the bathroom at home. Her parents were working late. She was actually glad they weren't home. The positive pregnancy test stared at her like a blinking neon bar light in the darkness. It was the fifth test she had taken in the past two days. She could feel the tears stream down her face. Kate thought back to that night, knowing exactly when and who it happened with.


	2. More Than Goodbye

**Chapter 1. More than Goodnight**

* * *

Mattie, Laura, and Sloan had begged Kate to go to a local frat party. The frat was different, they actually checked ID's but Sloan knew a guy and they had the fake ID's they got when they were fifteen.

A couple hours later Kate was standing on the stairs inside the frat house, her arms hanging over the banister while her girlfriends were off either getting hammered or laid. She watched the entrance from the stairs and it was then she saw the most beautiful eyes on a guy she thought was actually kind of cute. His eyes met hers and he smiled as he made his way over.

"I haven't seen you around here," Richard Rogers said to her.

"You come to these parties often," Kate asked.

"I make the rounds."

"I'll bet you do."

Richard smiled, "So you were checking me out. I'm flattered."

"Don't be, you're really not my type."

"Hopefully I can change that."

"Are you always this full of yourself?"

"I'm an aspiring writer. It's my job for my ego to get to my head."

"See you just made my point then."

"Well I may write stories and be egotistical but everyone's got one, even you. What do you say we get out of here and I can tell you yours?"

Kate looked Richard over as if deciding on what to do. "You do remember the part I said about you not being my type right?"

Richard looked at Kate and moved his hands up and down the way a stylist would with a model.

"I get it, you're dark and edgy but what you need is a little Nerds candy in your life: tangy and sweet. And you weren't always this way."

"And you know that how?"

"Like I said, everyone's got a story. I'm Rick Rogers by the way."

"Kate Beckett," she said shaking his extended hand.

Rick smiled, "So what do you say…Beckett… you interested? I'll tell you your story, you tell me mine. Come on it'll be fun, you know you want to."

"Oh what the hell?"

Kate followed Rick down the stairs. As she made her way to the door she quickly searched for her friends. Sloan was in the kitchen mixing things in a blender, water and tablets most likely since she liked things to foam up or send things flying, Laura was nowhere to be seen, and Mattie was the easiest to find and also the closest. She had a guy on each arm during some game of beer pong. Mattie made eye contact with Kate and then gave her two thumbs up and waved; an indication that she knew Kate was leaving.

* * *

Kate looked around the single apartment as Rick took off her coat.

"So what are you a writer or something," she teased with a smile as she noticed close to nearly two dozen rejection letters on the wall.

"Aspiring writer."

"Anything I may have heard of?"

"A Rose for Ever After?"

Kate looked at him, "That was written by a guy named Richard Castle."

"Yeah," said Rick, "This guy," he said pointing at himself. "It's called a pseudonym. I'm planning on legally changing it when I get a chance. Good thing you're not a cop."

"Why 'Castle'?"

"Have you seen how cool those things are? Plus the name sounds really cool: Richard Castle. Of course you won't see it in lights on Broadway but on book jackets is just as awesome. Make yourself comfortable," he said as he went to the kitchen.

When he returned Kate was sitting on the sofa.

"Raspberry Tea," Kate said after taking a sip.

"Sparkling raspberry tea," Rick corrected. "Everyone's got a story and mine tells me you're not exactly twenty-one."

"What happened to the ruggedly handsome party boy who was hitting on me earlier?"

"Oh I can be a party boy and thank you for calling me ruggedly handsome by the way, but let's face it I think we're both trying to be more than who we are."

After taking another sip and then placing it on the nearby table Kate looked at Rick. "Okay so you're the writer Rick, you tell me, what's my story?"

"You wanna hear it?""

"That's why I came right?"

"Okay. You had a descent childhood, really good in fact, it explains your need to rebel and sneak out of the house. It's actually pretty attractive. I'm guessing money, Manhattan, parents are doctors or lawyers but you don't want to be that goodie two-shoes. You get along with all types so you don't belong to a specific click and yet here you are with me, a writer which tells me you're smart and educated but you've got a reputation to keep so you don't want people knowing it. You're a pretty girl so you'll probably end up modeling or becoming a doctor or lawyer like your parents. So how'd I do?"

"Not bad."

"So how old are you Kate, really?" Rick said scooting closer.

Kate did the same, "You really want to know?"

"No, it doesn't matter."

"Good answer," Kate said with coy smile.

And to them the age truly didn't matter. It didn't matter that she was sixteen and he was twenty-one and that they were breaking the law. The only thing that mattered was the gravitational force that pulled them together, their mouths coming in contact, a perfect fit like a shuttle reaching it's docking station. Rick picked up Kate and took her to the bedroom.

* * *

After what seemed like an endless night of sex, Kate not even admitting to Rick that he was her first, looked at the clock on the nightstand.

She got up and panicked, "My dad's gonna kill me," she said searching for her clothes.

She managed to find her bra and panties and her short skirt and boots but her blouse was nowhere to be found.

"Want me to tell him you were studying late with your advisor?" asked Rick.

"As funny as that would be with your looks it just wouldn't fly."

"I wish you could stay."

"Yeah right."

"No I mea n it, I like you. I don't think I've ever liked a girl this much before."

"Don't turn this into something," said Kate, "It was just sex."

Rick smiled, "You've got a rebellious reputation to keep I get it. Well can you blame me for trying?"

Kate leaned in and kissed Rick, "Never," she said and then headed for the bedroom door.

"See you around…Beckett."

Kate smiled, liking the way her last name sounded from his lips. "Goodnight…Castle," she said using the name he planned as his future last name.

Once Beckett was gone, Castle moved his hands on the bed, unsure of whether he could go back to sleep. He found Beckett's blouse under the pillow and brought it up to his nose to sniff it, being intoxicated by the aroma of perfume and Beckett's natural scent. What he didn't see was the used condom tossed like trash at the end of the room with several tiny holes.

* * *

Kate was taken out of her memories when she heard a knock on the door. She quickly tossed the pregnancy test in the trash, hiding it in an old toilet paper roll and then placed that in a box of tampons that she emptied and left scattered in the cabinet under the sink not realizing how much time she had spent crying over the fact that she was now pregnant and thinking about Richard Rogers Castle to the point that her parents were now home.


	3. Deserves Better

**Chapter 2. Deserves Better**

* * *

Two months passed and Kate still had yet to tell her parents that she was pregnant. For the most part she had gone on as if nothing had changed but things had changed and her friends, even her parents, were starting to notice.

"We've always been able to talk," Johanna said to Kate one night as they sat in Kate's room. "What's going on Katie?"

"You'll hate me, you and dad both will."

"We could never do that. We love you. We may not agree with the things you do but we love you no matter what."

"I screwed up mom," Kate said wrapping her arms around her legs.

Johanna reached over and took hold of Kate's hand, "You're pregnant aren't you?"

Kate looked up not even bothering to hide her tears. "Who told you?"

"No one told me Katie. I know the signs and you've stopped going out. You won't even hang out with your friends anymore. It was easy to connect the dots."

"I'm so sorry mom, I'm so sorry."

"Aw Katie, how could you let this happen?"

"I don't know. We took precautions. We used a condom."

"The whole time?"

Kate cringed, not liking this sex talk. Her mom had given her the talk when she was nine and her dad had given her the men's interpretation but now that things had escalated and Kate was pregnant the talk was slightly more awkward.

"Yes," Kate answered.

"Did it slip off? Did the condom break?"

"Ugh mom, no."

"Did you think to check for holes? Sometimes you think a condom is good but they can be damaged even if they're new or a few years old."

"We were kind of busy to check for that kind of thing," Kate said feeling herself blush despite the serious nature of her actions. She then turned serious, "Mom, you can't tell dad."

"Kate, he all ready knows."

"What, how?"

"I told him when I started to suspect."

"I'm dead."

"So who was the guy," Jim said coming into the room.

"Jim," said Johanna not liking the intrusion, "We said we'd wait until tomorrow for you to talk to her."

"Well I'm sorry Johanna but I just couldn't wait," Jim said to his wife. He then turned his focus on his daughter. "We thought we taught you better than this. So who is he?"

"Just some guy I met at a party," said Kate.

"The party that I caught you sneaking home from," said Jim.

"Yeah."

"And you're not going to tell us who it is?"

"It doesn't matter. It was just a guy at a party that I'm probably never gonna see again. You know how those things are."

"We do which is why none of this makes any sense. You've thrown our lives upside down; you know that right, Katie? You're saying goodbye to your friends and a normal high school life and since you won't tell us who the father is there's no way to collect any child support if you plan to keep the…fetus."

"Look Katie," said Johanna, "This is a big change for all of us but we don't have to decide anything right now. I'll set up an appointment with my OBGYN and then we'll take things from there."

Jim Beckett was steaming. This was not the kind of life he had imagined for his family or his daughter. He had worked hard to obtain a better life than he had growing up and had worked hard to instill good morals. He often worried that Katie's behavior would get her into trouble and now that it had there was nothing he could do to fix it. He was angry, yes, and he wanted to murder the guy who had put Katie in this position but regardless of how he felt, he still loved his daughter and right now his feelings seemed minor compared to what Katie would have to go through. There were three choices she could make and none of them would be easy.

* * *

Life was difficult the next several months. Johanna had taken Kate to her doctor's appointments, kids at school had talked but Mattie and Sloan never abandoned her, though at times Mattie distanced herself. The only one who had truly stayed away was Laura.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do," Jim asked his six month pregnant daughter over dinner.

"I can't be a teenage mom," said Kate. "He or she deserves better. I don't want to screw up anymore. I want to be better and I can't do that raising a kid."

"Katie," said Johanna, taking her daughters' hand, "You can do anything you want you know that right?"

"Not with a kid. I love my baby."

Jim looked at his wife and then at his daughter. They both understood the parental feelings Kate was having. They had felt the same way especially that first time Johanna had felt Katie kick for the first time. Kate had felt her baby move for the first time a few days ago and feeling the baby made it even more real.

"We know you do," said Jim, "We've talked about this Katie, it will be hard on all of us and if you want to keep him or her we'll respect that but he or she will be your responsibility."

"I can't do it. My baby can't pay for the way I screwed up."

"You can still change your mind when you have the baby," said Johanna.

"I won't. It's what's best for all of us." Beckett said as she placed her hand on her belly. "It's what's best for her," she said despite her tears.

* * *

"You can still change your mind Katie," Jim said as he held his newborn granddaughter.

Kate had seen her baby and held her. A perfect 6 pound 3 ounce baby girl with a full set of dark hair that seemed like it may get lighter. She had Rick's nose and her lips and a combination of both their eyes. Upon seeing her daughter, Kate had wanted to keep her more than anything but knew that was selfish even though it was her baby. She had even given the baby the name of Joan Harper, a name she kept to herself but despite the name, despite seeing her and holding her and hearing her cry, she knew she couldn't raise her. Harper deserved better, they all did.

"She deserves better than me," said Kate. "More than I can give her."

"You could choose an open adoption," said Johanna.

"No I can't," said Kate. "It's easier if I don't know where she'll end up."

"None of this is easy," said Jim.

"Maybe not for me," Kate replied, "But at least for her it will be."

Jim and Johanna looked at each other. They made their way out of the room, giving their daughter some much needed alone time and they took their granddaughter with them as they too would have to say their goodbyes.


	4. Directions & Choices

**Author's Note #1:** _The process of adoption is somewhat confusing to me even with all the research I do so I am sorry if I messed that part up I just didn't know how to go about it and I wanted the process to be quick._

* * *

**Chapter 3. The Directions We Take, the Choices We Make**

* * *

Four months after Kate Beckett had given up her daughter, elsewhere in New York Rick Castle and Meredith Sanders were waiting in the doctor's office to find out the results of some tests. Rick had met Meredith when, unknown to him Kate was five months pregnant, and then married Meredith a month later. Meredith wasn't keen on the idea of having kids. Rick was working on his latest novel and she had many acting jobs that she was looking forward to but she also loved Richard in her own way which was why they were at the doctor's now. Castle had taken tests a week ago and everything was working the way it should.

"I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Castle, I wish I had better news," said Delilah Thorton.

Rich took Meredith's hand, "How bad is it," he asked.

"I wish you would have come in sooner, preferably when your symptoms started. The lining that is supposed to be inside your uterus is actually growing on the outside of the uterus. It acts normally but it becomes trapped so scar tissue starts to form around the surrounding tissues. It's abnormal in the sense that it binds the organs together. It's a condition called _Endometriosis_ and as a result it can cause infertility."

"So what you're saying," said Meredith. "Is that basically I can't have kids, ever."

"I'm so sorry," said Dr. Thorton, "but there are other options: a surrogate, adoption. You don't have to give up. Good luck."

* * *

Later back at the apartment Rick sat with his laptop and Meredith was reading one of her latest scripts. Castle closed the lid and looked at his wife.

"So are we ever going to talk," he asked.

"There's nothing to talk about. I was okay with not having kids so you know maybe this is for the best don't you think?"

"You really believe that?"

Meredith placed her script down. "Don't you? I love you, kitten, but you're working on your second novel and there's a lot of roles I want to take. Can you honestly see this body going through all of those changes and me being miserable and then having a baby on my hip while I go on auditions and on set? Yuck."

"Well there are other options. It doesn't have to come from us. People adopt all the time, we can do that."

Meredith took a breath. Castle could see she was starting to get frustrated and he couldn't understand why.

"Could you really handle all of that though," Meredith asked, "The crying, the changing, the late nights?"

"Don't we all ready do that as humans anyway?"

"I have the late nights. You just cry and procrastinate over your writing."

"See, so you've all ready got the late night's down. You'll be an expert at the late night feedings and diaper changes. You wouldn't even have to breast feed though had your body not betrayed you I'm sure that would have been very attractive."

"I love you Richard-,"

"Just not enough to have kids."

"I've never wanted kids so maybe this endo-me-tree whatever is a good thing," she said getting up and placing a kiss on his head and taking the script to their room.

"Yeah for you maybe," Castle said not caring if she heard him.

* * *

The next month was a challenge for Rick and Meredith. Rick had a chapter due at the end of the week and Meredith had been chosen for a lead role in an indie film that would begin shooting at the end of the week in Italy.

"You're being ridiculous Richard," said Meredith.

"We both want different things," said Castle.

"You went ahead with the adoption without me. You're twenty-one, tell me that is not being ridiculous. Couldn't you have waited another ten years before deciding on a kid? It's a big decision."

"I know it is but I don't want to wait ten years I don't even want to wait five. What choice did I have? You don't want kids. You've made that clear every time I've brought up the subject."

"Why can't you just go with me on this," Meredith whined.

"So I want to be a dad, what's wrong with that?"

"I don't want to be a mom, what's wrong with that?"

Castle didn't answer her question, "Then make this easy on the both of us and sign the papers. You can leave tomorrow for all I care: have all the sex you want, never destroy your stick figure and my baby will be here after you leave and I'll be able to continue on with the life I want as a writer and a father."

Rick wasn't lying about the last part. After the conversation he had with Meredith when they were home from the doctor's office, he had looked into adoption on his own when Meredith thought he was writing. It wasn't easy but he had discreetly gone through all of the needed background checks. It didn't matter to him if it was a boy or a girl and it didn't have to be directly a newborn just as long as it was small enough for him to still cradle in his arms and a baby had been found for him.

Of course Meredith had gotten wind of Rick's plans and she was furious and felt betrayed. It felt like typical childish Richard doing what he wanted and not considering anyone else.

"We could still make this work," said Meredith.

"No we can't. If it wasn't this it would be something else. Meredith, sign the papers, please."

Meredith took the pen and signed the three pages.

"You're off the hook," Castle said with a smile.

"I hope you know what you're doing Richard. I hope this isn't one of your crazy ideas."

"Hey, I may not have experience with kids but what first time dad does? Trust me I know what I'm doing. Good luck on the movie."

"Good luck on the writing and…everything else."

"Okay let me see her, let me see her," Martha said squealing with delight several weeks later as her son held her new granddaughter.

Rick handed the baby over to his mother.

* * *

"Oh look at you," said Martha in a more childlike voice, "You are so cute, yes you are." She then changed her voice back to normal, "Oh Richard she's adorable. So have you decided on a name yet? We can't exactly keep calling her baby Jane."

"I was thinking of calling her Alexis. Alexis Harper."

"Alexis Harper Castle, very fitting."

"It's too bad Meredith couldn't be here."

"Oh please Richard, you're better off that woman. Trust me she would have driven you crazy or worse, cheated on you. Trust me I know her type."

"I thought you liked her."

"Since when have you needed my approval on your girlfriends? Richard, I stopped getting emotionally involved when you hit sixteen. Although-,"

"Although what?" Martha remained silent. "Mother?"

"You never told me about that other woman. You know, the one before Meredith."

"There was no other woman before Meredith."

"Oh Richard, who do you think you're talking to? I'm a professional actress. I read people's facial expressions for a living. So who was she?"

Rick took the baby from his mother. He looked at his daughter and smiled. She looked at her father with deep set eyes.

"It doesn't matter," said Rick, "She was no one."


	5. Maybe

**Author's Note #1:** _In the rest of the story, what I consider as the present, Beckett has her S3 show hairstyle._

**Author's Note #2:** _Scenes in italics are from direct quotes from the show. The story was built around those particular scenes but the rest is of my own creation._

* * *

**Chapter 4. Maybe**

* * *

Fourteen years later at age thirty, Kate Beckett found herself at a new crime scene. She had been a cop for about a decade, the youngest to make detective at age twenty-six. Life had taken her in a direction she wouldn't have imagined. Her mother, Johanna, had been murdered a decade ago. A random wayward event attributed to gang violence but the person responsible had never been caught and thus led her vendetta into law enforcement. If she couldn't get justice for her mother then she sure as hell could get it for others.

That is what she intended to do now as she stood over the body of her latest victim.

_"Does this look familiar to anyone," Beckett asked the medical examiner, Lanie Parish, and her two partners Detectives Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan._

_"No," said Detective Esposito, "but I'm not the one with a thing for the freaky ones. Just give me a Jack-shot-Jill over Bill so I can get my collar and go home."_

_Beckett looked at Espo and smiled as she circled the body, "Oh but the freaky ones require more," said Beckett, "They reveal more. Look at how he left her covered modestly."_

_"So," Ryan said not seeing the point._

_"So, despite all the effort," said Beckett, "all of the preparation, you won't find any evidence of sexual abuse."_

_Esposito looked at Beckett, "You really get that from just this?"_

Beckett was unsure of how to go about this. Seeing her latest victim she had put it together with a previous case. Personally it was one that she wanted no involvement in but she had to keep her personal reasons out of it.

_"This plus I've seen this before," Beckett admitted._

_Lanie, Espo, and Ryan looked at Beckett._

_"You've seen it before," asked Ryan, "Where?"_

_Beckett looked at the guys, wondering if they were serious. "Roses on her body, sunflowers on her eyes. Don't you guys read?"_

"Clearly not the stuff you're reading," said Ryan.

"So whose murders are they," Esposito asked.

"They're copycats," Beckett corrected, "From the murders in Richard Castle's novels."

"The Richard Castle," asked Lanie, "Girl that boy is fine."

"Okay," said Esposito, "So if these are from the books then we need to find the guy and question him."

Beckett took a deep breath. "I'll handle that."

"You don't sound so sure," said Ryan.

"Just follow up with CSU," Beckett said to them.

* * *

Detective Beckett didn't need to find the Rick Castle's location as she had all ready known about it several weeks in advance. Of course she wouldn't let the guys know that.

Across town dark flashy lights lit the rooftops and an inside party area where Richard Castle was enjoying the fame of being a bestselling author with the premiere of "Storm Fall", his final book in what had become the Derek Storm series.

Kate Beckett took a deep breath before flashing her badge to get inside. She was here on official business and nothing more, not as the avid book reader and fan that she was.

The lights inside were a mixture of murky pale yellows, reds, and blacks to match the cover art of "Storm Fall."

It wasn't that difficult to find Rick Castle. If he wasn't surrounded by beautiful women, he was at the bar and as she approached, Beckett could overhear the end of a conversation.

_"Just once I'd like someone to come up to me and say something new," Castle had said._

Beckett thought to herself, 'what perfect timing.'

_"Mr. Castle," Beckett said speaking up to him for the first time tonight._

_Castle turned at the sound of his name, a Sharpie in hand ready for another round of autographs._

_"Where would you like?" he asked._

In front of him stood not another blonde, red head or brunette in almost revealing clothing but instead a brunette woman with her hair in a bun, wearing an outfit not suited for a party but instead a business suit.

The brunette then did something Castle was not expecting.

_"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD," Beckett said to him, "We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight."_

_Castle's mouth dropped open a little and a young girl leaned over and took the Sharpie from his hand._

_"That's new," said Alexis._

Castle continued to stare at Beckett while Alexis went back to her studies, then at the shield Beckett still had up and back to Beckett.


	6. Fate Intervened

**Chapter 5. Fate Intervened**

* * *

On the ride over to the 12th Precinct, Beckett could feel Castle's eyes on her the whole time. It was a little unnerving especially as she didn't know what he was thinking and he didn't know what she was thinking. She had tried to ignore his looks. She was a professional. Hell she had been in the box with hard edged criminals but then every one of those instances had been different. And yet she had busted some of her past ex-boyfriends for various charges so what was the big deal with Castle?

'There is no big deal,' she had said to herself over the years but she could never be convincing enough and if she couldn't convince herself then she couldn't convince anyone else of that either had they known.

When they reached the precinct Beckett took Castle into a white lit observation room where she had Castle sit at a table.

_"Mr. Castle, you've got quite a rap sheet for a bestselling author: disorderly conduct, uh, resisting arrest."_

"A bit formal, aren't we Beckett?" Castle asked.

"It's Detective," she corrected, "And despite all of your brushes with the law, charges were dropped every time. Care to explain that?"

"What can I say, the mayor likes me but if you'd like to punish me proper then I'd be glad for you to do so. What do you say, Detective, care to go a round or two?"

"Not gonna happen."

"Are you sure? I'd bet I could make it worth your while."

Beckett took a deep breath. On the other side of the glass she knew that the boys and possibly even Montgomery were having a laugh at her expense. She wouldn't give them or Castle that satisfaction.

_"Mr. Castle," she said, "This whole bad boy charm you've got going on might work for bimbettes and celebutaunts, me I work for a living so that makes you one of two things in my world: either the guy who makes my life easier or the guy who makes my life harder and trust me you do not want to be the guy that makes my life harder."_

_"Kay."_

Beckett pulled out a couple of photos.

"Allison Tisdale, daughter of real estate mogul Jonathan Tisdale and Marvin Fisk, small claims lawyer."

"Cute. Him not so much."

"They're both dead Mr. Castle."

"And my role in this is what exactly?"

"Take a look. I'm sure they'll jog whatever brain cells you have left."

Castle looked at them closer. _"Flowers for Your Grave," he said._

"And we found Fisk resembled a scene from Hell Hath No Fury."

Rick smiled at Beckett, "Guess A Rose for Ever After wasn't enough."

Beckett felt a lump in her throat. "Excuse me?"

Castle decided to let that sink in a bit and moved on to the murders. _"Hell Hath No Fury, angry Wiccans out for blood, come on only hard core Castle groupies read that one_ but something tells me you were a fan long before we met today."

Beckett didn't like the way the conversation was going, she was losing control and as part of her job she needed that control so she strived to get things back on track.

She continued to question Castle about the murders, asking his own whereabouts at the time of each murder, asking about any particular fans or fan mail that may have stuck out to him.

* * *

It was 12:15 AM by the time Rick arrived home. He sighed as he entered the loft. Martha was in the kitchen with a glass of white wine.

"Where's Alexis?" Castle asked.

"All ready in bed," Martha replied.

"So what, no eye candy tonight?"

"Poor guy couldn't keep up with my speed. What about you kiddo, what's got you down in the dumps?" She offered her son a glass but he declined. "Alexis told me you got hauled off by the cops. What'd you do this time?"

"Surprisingly, nothing. They wanted my help on a murder investigation. Some guy is copying the murders that I wrote in some of my books, but that wasn't the weird part."

"It wasn't?"

Rick walked over to the window and looked out at the well lit city night and then moved and took a seat on the couch.

"Fate intervened," he said.

"What are you talking about Richard?" Martha asked sitting next to her son.

"You were right before: there was someone prior to Meredith. I met her at a party before I legally changed my name. That woman, she's now a cop, a homicide detective."

"You've had other…liaisons with other women before."

"This was different."

"Who was she Richard? She was not just no one was she?"

"She was the woman I could imagine spending the rest of my life with."

"Richard, are you sure? It was just one night."

"It only took you one night to get pregnant with me and fall in love with my father."

"Okay fair enough but I've never seen him since that night but back to you. Now that she's back in your life, what are you going to do?"

* * *

The books A Rose for Ever After, At Dusk We Die, and Storm Warning stared at Beckett from their spot on the table in her apartment: The first book of his that she had ever read, her personal favorite, and the book that had been released at the time of her mother's murder. In one hand Beckett had a glass of red wine.

Fourteen years. Though she had tried to forget that night in her life and for the most part had done a pretty good job of it, especially after losing her mother, now it seemed that life was making fun of her past and reminding her of that one error in judgment. She had never considered it a mistake, not really. Calling it a mistake was like calling the child that had stemmed from it a mistake and no child should have ever been called that.

Now though life was laughing. They had gone their separate ways after that night. He went on from becoming that aspiring writer to an actual somewhat famous writer and with her instead of following in the footsteps of her parents and becoming a lawyer she had gone to become a cop.

Sure she had followed his career but it wasn't about him, not really. It was about his material. He was a good writer and she genuinely liked his books. She had every copy, some even autographed, on her bookshelf. She had known where he was tonight from following his website. To say she was a mega-fan was an understatement but in that time she had never allowed herself to get too close, even when standing hours outside for an autograph or to get his latest book, she had managed to fade into the background to go unnoticed.

There was no way to go unnoticed now. The copycat had forced Castle back into her life and she wasn't sure what to do. She would do her job but anything beyond that only complicated the situation.

Beckett took a sip from her glass. She was going to turn the books over but then remembered that his face was on the back of the book jackets so she left them with the covers faced up not wanting to see those eyes staring at her as if knowing all along who she was.


	7. This Is How We Roll

**Chapter 6. This is How We Roll**

* * *

_"Did we hear back from the lab?" Beckett asked Esposito_

_"Yeah, scene was negative for DNA and prints just like Fisk. The guys' careful."_

_"What about Tisdale and Fisk, any connection?"_

_"Other than your boy there?" Esposito indicated behind Beckett. She turned to see Castle in a room with Montgomery. "No," said Esposito._

_Beckett turned back to Esposito. "What's he doing here?"_

_"Maybe he likes you," Espo teased._

_"Detective Beckett," Montgomery called._

_"Captain?" Beckett answered._

When Beckett entered the room Montgomery closed the door. The three of them weren't the only ones in the room.

"Sir, what's going on?"

"You have a new partner, Detective, for the time being. Mr. Castle has agreed to be a civilian consultant for the NYPD."

Castle smiled at Beckett, "It's the least I can do since this guy is copying my lesser works."

"Sir this really isn't necessary."

"Don't even try to go against this, Beckett," said Montgomery, "The Mayor has all ready signed off especially since Mr. Castle has found inspiration for his next new set of books: you."

Beckett looked shocked, not even bothering to hide it. "Are you kidding me? Sir with all due respect-,"

"It's a done deal Beckett. Let's get started shall we?"

Castle took a seat and looked at the papers in front of him as the lawyer read them off.

_Beckett stood against the wall and stared harshly at Castle._

_"If you get injured following Detective Beckett to research your next novel you cannot sue the city. If you get shot, you cannot sue the city. If you get killed-,"_

_"My lifeless remains cannot sue the city," said Castle._

_"Your heirs, Mr. Castle," said the lawyer._

_Beckett could feel herself getting agitated, "Do I have to wait for him to sign or can I shoot him now?"_

_"Mr. Castle," said the lawyer, "These waivers are serious business, perhaps you'd feel more comfortable by referring the matter to your attorney."_

_Castle smiled, "What are you kidding, he'd never let me sign these but fortunately it's his job to get me out of trouble and not to prevent me from getting into it."_

"So what's our next move," Castle asked following Beckett to her desk after finishing the paperwork.

Beckett looked at him with slight amusement.

"First, there is no 'our'. There is me, an actual detective and there is you; a guy who is only pretending to play cop."

"It's not actual playing," Castle corrected. "I do real work too. It's called research. As a detective you should be familiar with the topic."

"This is not a game Mr. Castle. People die and people get arrested and often times it gets dangerous."

"So in that case will I get my own Kevlar?"

"No."

"Too bad it would have been so cool."

"Mr. Castle, this is serious. Look around you. Real lives are on the line every day. I won't have you jeopardize that. It's not something I want on my conscience. As long as you're following me, you follow my orders, you do as I say, got it?"

Castle smiled at Beckett, "You bet. So now what?"

"Paperwork."

"That's not fun."

"It's not supposed to be fun."

As Beckett was about to start some of her reports, her phone rang.

"Got it," she said getting up from her desk after hanging up.

"Oh another case," Castle said getting up from his seat and following her out as Beckett did not offer the invitation.

* * *

The case turned out to be a young woman by the name of Kendra Pitney who was found face down in a swimming pool wearing a yellow prom dress and a knife in her back. It was reminiscent of Castle's novel, Death of a Prom Queen.

The work on the case continued with leads and dead ends and more leads. Beckett had interviewed Jonathan Tisdale, the father of their victim Allison Tisdale. Castle annoyed her by asking his own questions, questions that, as much as Beckett didn't want to admit it, turned out to be useful.

Eventually they were led to their right man, Harrison Tisdale, Allison's brother who was starting to lose his business and with his father on the verge of death's footsteps, stood to gain half of what his father had left him but with Allison out of the way he stood to gain it all.

* * *

"Harrison Tisdale, open up," Beckett shouted in front of his apartment, uniforms behind her.

She had left Castle in the car with the child safety locks on the doors, she was not about to use her one pair of handcuffs on him in case she had to make an arrest.

From the other side of the door in the apartment they could hear some shuffling. Beckett kicked open the door and could see Tisdale going out the window. Beckett trailed behind but Castle was all ready a step ahead. He was familiar with child safety locks so it didn't take long for him to figure out the ones in Beckett's car. He saw Tisdale heading his way. Beckett had taken the car keys with her so that was out of the question but Castle saw the next best thing.

A police officer with a motorcycle was writing a ticket for a car parked in a fire truck zone and with the keys still in the ignition Castle borrowed the bike.

"Hey!" the officer shouted.

"Sorry, police business," said Castle, "You'll get it back."

Castle chased off after the suspect, Beckett still on her feet but really fast. The suspect headed down an alley hoping to lose them but Castle was literally on his heels. He caught up to Tisdale and tapped him with the wheel of the bike sending the guy crashing to the pavement.

Castle then slid the bike as he got off. "Oh my god, did you see that!" he said as Beckett came up behind, not even the slightest out of breath, "That was awesome!"

Beckett pulled out her cuffs and slapped one of the bracelets on Castle's right wrist.

"Hey, what's this for? Shouldn't you be arresting him," Castle asked.

"I'll get to you in a minute," Beckett said to Castle.

She forced Castle down to get to her suspect and placed the other bracelet on the guy's left wrist. It would have been so much easier if she'd had two pairs of handcuffs but for now this would have to do until the other officers arrived.

"Harrison Tisdale," said Beckett, "You are under arrest for murder. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford and attorney one will be appointed to you."

She got the two men up and the flashing lights of the other police vehicles were starting to arrive. When they did, she removed Tisdale's cuff and let a uniform take him.

She then grabbed Castle's left arm and placed his behind his back, cuffing him.

"So are you really arresting me or is this just for fun," asked Castle, "because I'm hoping it's the latter."

Beckett looked at Castle, "Mr. Castle, you are under arrest for commandeering a police issued bike. Do I need to read you your rights?"

"Nope I've heard them all before but say 'commandeering' again, it was hot."

Beckett ignored his comment, "Let's go." She then lost some of her harsh demeanor. "A motorcycle seriously?"

"Ha ha I know right! But it was so much fun. Next time I'll let you straddle behind me."

Beckett shook his head. And just like that he was back to being that pig of a womanizer. "The only thing you'll be straddling is the bench in your cell."


	8. Instinct

**Chapter 7. Instinct**

* * *

"Yo, the family's here," Esposito said. "Did he really steal a police motorcycle?"

Beckett ignored Espo's question. "Talk to his mother. I'll talk to the kid. I want to get a feel for the kind of guy my new partner is. Let Castle sweat in holding for a bit."

"Don't you think this is a little excessive," asked Ryan.

"Yeah," said Esposito, "I mean the guy does officially work with the police now. Isn't it a little, I don't know, harsh?"

"He's still a civilian with no police training," said Beckett, "and he doesn't have a license to ride a motorcycle. He could have killed someone."

"Yeah but he didn't," said Ryan, "He helped you nab killer instead."

Beckett looked over to the family room noticing Martha and Alexis for the first time. She could feel a lump in her throat.

"Who is that," Beckett said her voice cracking a little.

Ryan and Espo turned in the direction of Castle's family.

"Martha Rogers," said Esposito, "Castle's mother and Alexis, his fourteen year old daughter."

"Fourteen," Beckett whispered. The boys looked at their partner.

"Yo Beckett, you okay," Esposito asked.

"Yeah," said Beckett, her voice cracking even more. "Give me a minute. I still want to talk to them when I get back, separately."

"You still want the kid and we'll take Castle's mom?" asked Ryan.

"Yeah," Beckett replied.

"You got it," said Espo.

When Beckett was out of earshot Ryan asked, "What was that all about?"

Esposito shrugged. He could only guess. Neither of them had ever seen Beckett in that way before like she was on the verge of breaking and could not trust her own voice.

* * *

Beckett found an empty stall in the woman's restroom; tears streamed down her face. Ever since Castle had returned to her life she had tried for the most part to ignore the connection she had with him. It had been only one night and by his reputation there had been others so it was meaningless.

At least it was supposed to have been meaningless but it wasn't even though at the time she had said it was only about sex. It had been more than that and unlike the numbers of faceless women, it had resulted in more and that result was here now and in her very precinct. She wasn't sure how she knew, Beckett had heard of stories; heck had even had cases of mothers who could know their own child without having even really known them- a maternal instinct that declared the child was theirs and after a simple DNA test confirmed what the mother all ready knew.

And to make the situation even more surreal and complicated was the fact that the child that she had given up was with her biological father this whole time.

Part of her wished now that she hadn't arrested Castle for his stupid act, at least then Alexis wouldn't be here now and she could have had a little more time to meet Castle's daughter but then maybe the when and where possibility of meeting the daughter she gave up was inevitable as far as timing went, even if it was a closed adoption. There was no perfect timing for anything. Life was a series of unplanned moments even while trying to plan.

Beckett took a deep breath, exited the stall, washed up and went to meet Martha and Alexis.

* * *

"So what's my dad done this time," Alexis asked after the introductions were made and it was just her and Beckett in the family room.

"What makes you think he's done something?"

"My dad's in lock up and you're here talking to me."

"You're a pretty smart kid."

"Thanks. I think I got the brains from my mom's side because I didn't get them from my dad or my grams for that matter. I just got their looks and their unique way of looking at the world."

"So it's just you and your dad?"

"Yeah and my grams," said Alexis. "She only recently moved in with us. My mom's out of the picture. My dad doesn't talk about her and I've never asked. I don't want to hurt him."

"You're brave for doing that."

"Thank you," Alexis said with a smile.

"I know what that's like. My mom died when I was a few years old than you. It was hard on my dad so I tried not to bring her up either."

"It sucks not having a mom," said Alexis.

Beckett took a breath, "Yeah it does."

Beckett could clearly see Rick in Alexis and herself in those eyes. Seeing the kid now, her kid, their kid, Beckett knew she was being ridiculous for locking up Castle. She thought it was the easiest thing to do; that by locking him away for a while she could lock everything from her past but life didn't work that way. Hell if she could she would have locked herself away too.

"Your dad stole a police motorcycle and rode it without a license," Beckett said answering Alexis' first question.

"That's it?"

Beckett shrugged, "It seemed justifiable at the time."

"And now?"

Beckett shook her head, "And now I really have no idea what I'm doing," she said inferring to more than just her own outlandish behavior in arresting Castle. "I'm sorry we had to meet this way. I wish it would have been different."

"It's okay. It's not the first time my dad's gotten in trouble for research. It gets him in trouble a lot."

Beckett smiled at Alexis and took a bold step, a step that she normally took with other family members she talked to in this room but with Alexis is meant something slightly different; she reached out to place a hand on the girl's knee.

"Sit tight, I'll see about getting your father released."

"Thanks Detective Beckett."

* * *

"You're free to go," Beckett said unlocking the gate to Castle's cell. "You did help catch our killer and I may or may not have jumped the gun a bit."

Castle smiled, "I'll take that as an apology, Detective, since it's probably the closest I'm gonna get."

Castle walked out of the cell and placed a kiss on Beckett's cheek.

"Until tomorrow Detective Beckett."

"Wait, you're still coming back?"

"Are you kidding, this was the most fun I've had in a while and with you as my partner, we're gonna have a blast just you wait!"

Beckett could only shake her head and try as she might she failed to hide her smile and Castle noticed.

Beckett watched as the family of three left; Martha softly hitting her son as if to scold him for his behavior. Beckett's eyes drifted to the young red head as she leaned into her father- Castle's left arm wrapping tightly around her. She seemed so unlike Castle; Alexis claiming that she had gotten her brains from her mother.

It was then that Beckett had an idea. She went into the break room and got a small plastic bag and then went back into the family room where she and Alexis had talked. The average amount of hair a person lost in a single day was between forty and one hundred twenty strands and in that hair was the mitochondrial DNA that came from the mother parent.

* * *

Lanie was getting off her ten hour shift when she heard a sound in the morgue and was startled.

"Girl, every time," said Lanie, "You know one of these days you're going to give me a heart attack."

"Sorry," said Beckett.

"Okay spill, what's going on?"

"What makes you think there's something going on?"

"Because I know you and you only come to me after hours when you need to talk. What is it?"

Beckett jumped off the metal slab and reached into her coat.

"Lanie, I need you to run a DNA test on this for me against…" Beckett plucked a strand of her own hair, "This. And I need it off the books, please."

Lanie reached for a small bag and placed Kate's hair in it.

"Kate, what is this? What's really going on?"

"I have to know."

"Know what exactly?"

Beckett took a deep breath, "If the girl I saw today is really my daughter."

* * *

"So in all these years of friendship," said Lanie as she was running the DNA testing, "You never thought to mention that you had a kid out there somewhere?"

"I was sixteen," Beckett explained, "It's not exactly one of those things that I bring up in a casual conversation. I'm not exactly a mother, I gave her up. It was supposed to be a closed adoption so I thought I'd never see her again."

"And you saw her today."

"Yeah, at least I think I did. Lanie, not only did I see her but I met her. I don't know it's like when I saw her I just knew. I mean am I just crazy and this is my mind playing tricks on me? I feel guilty for giving her up? Or is it something else?"

"It's definitely not your mind playing tricks on you," said Lanie as the test was complete. "The sample you gave me proves that she's your daughter."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I can run it again but odds are the results will be the same. That girl you met is your daughter Kate."

It took a minute for Beckett to compose herself. "Thanks Lanie."

Lanie knew there was nothing left to say. Asking Kate if she was okay was out of the question. When her best friend was ready to talk she would listen but until then this was a situation from Kate's past that she would have to deal with on her own.

It was one thing for Beckett to have an instinctual feeling about Alexis but Beckett was a cop, she focused in evidence and facts and now she had irrefutable evidence that Alexis was indeed hers on a biological standpoint. Legally she had no right to Alexis and for the time being she was okay with that. The whole situation felt overwhelming in a way Beckett had never experienced before. All she could do was take it a minute at a time until she figured out her next move.


	9. Since You've Been Around

**Chapter 8. Since You've Been Around**

* * *

Much later into the evening Beckett went to the door of her apartment after hearing the knock. She took a deep breath before she answered. Normally she and her father had a neutral place at a diner where they would meet but Beckett was not in the mood to be overheard.

"Hey dad," Beckett said to her father when she let him in. "Thanks for coming so late."

"You seemed a little nervous on the phone," said Jim, "Everything okay?"

"I met her dad, I talked to her."

"Who?"

Beckett's eyes were red as she tried to hold back her tears.

"My daughter," she said to her father.

"Your…" Jim's mind raced back as he easily remembered, "The infant you gave up."

"And it's not exactly like I can stay away from her."

"Katie, if you're thinking about becoming a part of this girl's life…"

"No it's not like that. She's my new partner's daughter."

"Oh."Beckett and Jim walked over to the couch. "So there's a possibility of her showing up at the precinct every now and then," said Jim.

Beckett wiped away her tears. She hated that she was crying over this.

"Like she did today," said Beckett.

"And you're not sure if you can handle that?"

"That's part of it. The rest is complicated."

"How so," Jim asked. Beckett bit her lip. "Katie, I can't help you through this if you don't talk to me."

"I know. I just don't know how to go about this."

"_You're mother was a devoted believer in the truth and if she were here right now she'd tell you the truth can never hurt you. This may be your mother's way of reaching out to you Katie, reminding you that the truth is still your weapon to wield_ so why don't you start with that and see where it leads you? Start by telling me about this new partner of yours."

"He's not exactly a cop he's more of a consultant. He helped me out on a case and the mayor assigned him to me. He's a writer and he's shadowing me around for his next book."

"This writer have a name?"

"Dad, it's Richard Castle."

"The guy whose novels you've been reading all these years, he's your new partner? And he also happens to be raising your daughter."

"That's where it gets complicated."

"In what way?"

Beckett got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. She thought about pulling out a bottle of red wine but opted for a glass of water instead.

"I never told you who the baby's father was," said Beckett, "I don't know how it happened but somehow she ended up with her biological father."

Jim began to put the pieces together as he walked over to the table. "The guy who got you pregnant was Rick Castle?"

"Back then I knew him as Rick Rogers, before he legally changed his name. He'd only written his first book and now he's like this somewhat famous author and I'm just this cop."

"That's who you are now but back then you two were completely different."

"But it doesn't change the situation now. I never told Castle I was pregnant. All of this is my fault. Had I said something at the time then maybe things would have played out differently."

"Maybe or maybe not," said Jim. "Does he know now: about you, about the daughter he had with you?"

"I'm not sure. He acts like a grown child so it's hard to tell if he can be serious or what he knows."

"You have to talk to him Katie. Things like this have a way of coming out especially if you two work together."

Beckett looked at her father. She had known she needed to talk to Castle but she was scared. Ever since that night she had never stopped thinking about him. And ever since she had given up her daughter she had never stopped thinking about her either. She thought about what her first word would be, her first birthday, first steps, everything she could have had if she'd never given her up.

She could ponder in the endless 'what if' scenarios but they wouldn't transform anything. Their lives might change if she talked to Castle but he had a right to know and Beckett knew it despite how this might uproot their current lives but circumstances had all ready conspired to alter course when she made the decision not to tell him all those years ago. She had all ready made the mistake of keeping the truth from him the first time around- was she really willing to make the same mistake twice?

* * *

The following day Castle arrived at the precinct with a cup of coffee for Beckett in what he hoped would become a daily routine. Ever since Beckett had walked back into his life he had hoped it would be a permanent state so when the opportunity came to help her on a case and then become her partner he was excited.

Ever since becoming a famous writer, Rick had not worked a regular nine-to-five job but if Beckett spent her time at the precinct or chasing down suspects then he was willing to do the whole nine-to-five and what better excuse was there as a writer than using her as inspiration for a new book? If he got really lucky then maybe his untitled novel based on Detective Beckett would become a series of more than one book though at this point that was only dream and speculation.

Castle arrived to see Beckett's desk empty and he looked confused. He glanced over at Ryan and Esposito.

"Hey, where's Beckett?" Castle asked.

"Took a sick day," said Ryan.

"Does she even do that," asked Castle. "She just doesn't strike me as the type to miss work unless her boss orders her to."

"She's not," said Ryan.

Esposito walked over to Castle, "Which begs the question: other than showing up around here, what the hell did you to her? "

"Why does everyone assume I did something wrong to Beckett?" Castle asked.

"Who's everyone," asked Ryan continuing on Esposito's questioning.

"Never mind," said Castle, "Nothing, I did nothing."

"Bro," said Espo, "Beckett's like a sister to us. We're trained detectives. Ever since you showed up she's been acting funny, so I'm gonna ask you again, what the hell did you do?"

Castle thought about making a joke but decided against it. With Ryan and Esposito confirming that Beckett didn't take any personal days unless it was ordered he knew something had to be wrong so he decided it was best to dodge the guy's questions.

"Well then I guess I'm not needed here today," said Castle.

"Woah just 'cause Beckett's not here you're bailing on us?"

Castle thought for a minute, "Um, yeah."

"But," said Ryan, "Don't you need some research for like the trusty sidekicks?" he asked.

"That can wait till later," Castle called over his shoulder as he was all ready leaving.

Esposito slapped Ryan on the chest, "Dude trusty sidekicks, seriously?"

Ryan only shrugged.

* * *

For the most part Castle spent his day writing, working on some character details for draft purposes, left his female lead with the name 'Alias' for the time being until he could come up with something better. The word 'heat' kept creeping into his mind and he somehow wanted to use it, he just wasn't sure how at the moment.

It wasn't until the afternoon when he found Beckett. She was sitting on one of the swings at a park across from one of the bookstores he often did book signings at.

"So this is how you spend your day off, by hanging out at the park," Castle asked coming near Beckett.

"I'm not in the mood Castle."

Castle took a seat in the swing next to her. "I know," he answered, "but I'm here anyways."

Beckett knew there was no sense in trying to get rid of him.

"So how'd you find me?"

"Are you kidding, I've been at enough book signings across the street to see you hanging out in the back and here you probably thought you were invisible."

"You never said anything."

"Neither did you." Castle took a breath, "You think I don't remember that night we shared fourteen years ago but I do. That's why you locked me up isn't it?" Beckett looked at him. "Hey I may be a twelve year old at heart but I'm not an idiot."

Beckett shook her head, "I'm sorry it was stupid."

"Stupid yes but understandable."

"It was one thing to follow your books but Castle when I discovered that the cases were connected to the murders you'd made up and then I found you at that party it was like everything that I had tried to bury just came out and I couldn't put the lid back on the box."

Castle nodded feeling the same way.

"Look Kate, I'm not gonna deny the man I became after that night or deny that there have been other women in my life since then just as I would assume there were other men in yours but they didn't mean anything to me."

"Not even your ex-wives?"

"Are you kidding especially not them," said Castle. "My first wife was too vain and into her acting career to think about anyone but herself and my second wife was too captivated with my money.

The point is, _none of them were you_. That night we had meant something to me. Am I wrong to think it meant something to you too or was I naïve to think you meant what you said about it just regarding sex otherwise why would you have put me in jail and been so hard on me when they assigned me as your partner?"

Beckett shook her head. Even now despite the time lapse, Castle still had that way of seeing her true thoughts.

"No, you're not wrong," Beckett admitted.

"Good," said Castle.

"Truth is, I think we were both idiots," said Beckett. "We both live in New York and lost touch."

"I heard about your mom," Castle said to her. "I'm sorry."

Beckett swallowed not wanting to get into that part of her life yet. "Thanks."

"I did try to contact you once," castle admitted.

Beckett looked up at him. This was news to her.

"When?"

"A few months after we met. I'd been pining and a buddy told me to get out and so he took me to a party, reluctantly I might add. Your girlfriend Mattie was there, you weren't. She kind of gave me the cold shoulder and told me to back off."

Beckett remembered. The next day she had asked Mattie how the party went and she said it was fine until a guy started bothering her and asking all sorts of questions. Beckett never would have thought it was Castle.

"Did she tell you why she wanted you to back off?"

"No but she seemed pissed, like I'd done something wrong."

Beckett bowed her head and closed her eyes. "It's all my fault Castle, it's all my fault," she whispered.

"Hey, what is?"

Beckett looked up at him. "I was pregnant Rick. That's why Mattie… that's why I pushed you away."

* * *

Castle's mouth dropped and then he stood up, pacing for a bit to gather his thoughts and then looked at Beckett.

"You were pregnant and you didn't tell me? How could you keep something like that from me?"

Beckett stood up to match him despite their 4.7 inch height difference. "You were working on becoming a novelist, I couldn't jeopardize that and me I was Rebel-Becks back then, I wasn't fit to be a mother. Anyways I thought you knew."

"How would I know? How could I possibly know something like that? Something so… life altering?"

"Because you've been raising her for the past fourteen years."

Castle took a seat back on his swing and Beckett did the same.

"Are you telling me that all this time I've been raising our daughter?"

"You really didn't know?"

"Honestly I had no idea. Alexis doesn't know she's adopted. Meredith, she never wanted to have kids- that's what originally split us up but I did so I went ahead with the adoption anyways. It was a closed adoption so the identity of Alexis' birth parents remained unknown and there was no way of finding out who they were. How did you know Alexis was ours?"

"I saw her in the precinct yesterday while you were sitting in holding. Maternal instinct I guess and then later I ran a DNA test to be sure. I'm sorry Castle, for everything."

"Hey, it's okay. This is who we are now and we can start over by letting me take you out on a proper date."

"Seriously, we go through this whole emotional crisis thing and now you're asking me out?"

"Well you gotta admit the drama did make the ending a bit sweeter don't you think?"

Beckett shook her head and bit her lip as she smiled, "Writers."

"So are you agreeing to go out with me?"

"I am but there's one thing we have to do first and one thing I have to clarify. Look Castle, I don't want to get in the way of you and Alexis. I didn't tell you all of this as a way to get back into her life. I'm more than okay with just being her dad's partner at work but we need to check up on that adoption agency. There's no way they could place our daughter with you and not have known about it or the very least inform you."


	10. Multi-Tasking

_Author's Note #1: I'm asking that you please take the next part(s) with a grain of salt. The research wasn't out there so for the most part it's strictly the use of my imagination._

_Author's Note #2: I've always liked this particular character so I thought it would be fun to utilize him/her in an interesting way._

_Author's Note #3: As you can tell though I have used certain scenes, they in no means follow the timeline on the show._

_Author's Note #4: I know Castle asking Beckett out was rushed, I was well aware of that when it happened but there is a point and a reason behind it. All will be revealed as the story progresses._

* * *

**Chapter 9. Multi-Tasking**

* * *

Life was by no means going to be easy. Sure Castle had asked Beckett out after the emotional rollercoaster but Beckett knew Castle would need time to process it all, time he rightly deserved. Life was a rollercoaster of emotions but there were no on and off switches as to when events occurred or what people decided either.

Beckett, though giving up their child for unselfish reasons, had in fact been selfish by not telling Castle the truth and she would hate herself for that mistake the rest of her life and Castle might hate her too and she would be forced to live with that. The only miracle that had come from the mess was that Alexis had been raised by her biological father.

Before Beckett could focus on her possible pending date with Castle she wanted to look into her child's adoption case. She needed answers as to how her daughter could end up in Castle's care without anyone knowing or being informed.

The day started off early for Beckett. She got to the office before her partners or boss so she could get a jump start on her personal assignment. She knew that once the day truly began she would be assigned a new case and her current one would have to be placed on hold and worked on during her own time. She had been familiar with this kind of multitasking. As a rookie cop Beckett had spent most of her free time down in archives as she investigated her mother's murder. It eventually consumed her to the point that she stopped her investigation.

Maybe some answers were best hidden though given her current predicament Beckett knew that was a lie. The truth had a way of rearing its head eventually no matter how much time went by.

"Well, look who's back," said Esposito when he and Ryan had arrived at work. "Yo Beckett, you looking to adopt?" he asked seeing her computer screen before she quickly and nervously closed the browser.

"It's nothing," said Beckett.

"Didn't look like nothing," said Ryan having seen it too.

Beckett gave a look of amusement to the boys, "Do you guys want something or are you just trying to give me a hard time."

"Nope," said Esposito, "Just glad to have you back."

"Even if you were only out for a day," said Ryan.

* * *

_Across town at the loft Castle and Alexis were cutting onions and talking about a bunch of randomness, particularly of the previous case Castle had worked with Beckett and how people could be so desperate to do desperate things for money, such as was the way of part of the human condition._

_"Speaking of the human condition," said Alexis as they continued chopping the onions. "How's it going with Detective Beckett?"_

_Castle decided it was easier to play this close to the vest. "What do you mean?"_

_Alexis looked at him wondering if he'd seriously asked her that. "Oh come on dad, you are basing a character off her and you always say you have to love your characters."_

_"Well she is a character," said Castle, "but uh just research, nothing more."_

_"Yeah, I'm sure," Alexis said not buying it._

Castle stopped what he was doing. "Hypothetically if I were to ask Beckett out, how would you feel about it?"

"You're really asking me?"

"Yeah I am."

"You never ask my opinion on the women you bring home."

"Well hypothetically I wouldn't be bringing her home yet. It's too soon for all that."

Alexis rolled her eyes, "Well then hypothetically she must be pretty special if there's no rush but sure I guess I'd be okay with it."

"Really?"

"Sure I mean I've only met Detective Beckett the one time but all ready she seems more real than any of the other women you've seen and I've all ready had a longer conversation with her than I have anyone else, your publisher ex-wife excluded."

Castle took a deep breath, "Yeah about that, Alexis, about Detective Beckett… there's something I have to tell you about her…"

Before Castle could say more his phone rang and he answered and then listened.

"Aw man, I would like that place if I could ever get a reservation…. Yeah I'll be there."

"So dad, what were you going to tell me about Detective Beckett?"

"Oh um… It can wait till later."


	11. Finding Truth

_Author's Note #1: I'm asking that you please take the next part(s) with a grain of salt. The research wasn't out there so for the most part it's strictly the use of my imagination._

_Author's Note #2: I've always liked this particular character so I thought it would be fun to utilize him/her in an interesting way._

_Author's Note #3: As you can tell though I have used certain scenes, they in no means follow the timeline on the show._

_Author's Note #4: I know Castle asking Beckett out was rushed, I was well aware of that when it happened but there is a point and a reason behind it. All will be revealed as the story progresses._

* * *

**Chapter 10. Finding Truth**

* * *

"You were going to tell her," said Beckett as she and Castle walked to their latest crime scene in a restaurant called Q3.

"I don't know what I was going to tell her. You're name just came out after she mentioned the talk you two had," Castle said not expanding over the fact that Beckett's name came up sooner than that.

"Castle, maybe we should postpone our date. We're dealing with a lot so maybe we shouldn't complicate things."

"I want to go out with you."

"So do I but Castle, you should hate me right now or at the very least be angry, anything?"

Before Castle could respond Esposito came up to them. Their personal business would have to wait.

Esposito explained about their latest victim, Balthazar Wolfe, who was the winner on Kitchen Wars season 3. He was found in the kitchen frozen to death from the use of liquid nitrogen. There were no signs of a robbery and the ME could not determine what or when the cause of death was, liquid nitro aside until the body could defrost and then later moved. Beckett gave the order to Ryan that after they could move the body, to call CSU to look for any evidence. Espo then came up to Beckett telling her that the owner had arrived.

When they were out of earshot, Castle asked, "So about our date?"

"Castle, not now."

"I was just gonna say that you're right, it is too soon. Maybe I rushed things a bit considering the bombshell you dropped on me and I'm sorry about that, it wasn't fair."

"You're right, it wasn't. And it's not that I don't want to go out with you, I do. I just think that given everything going on I'm not sure this is the best time."

"Yeah I've never been good with timing and I guess I should deal with all of this before we jump into something right away."

"This isn't going to be weird is it," Beckett asked.

"No, not weird," Castle replied.

"Good so can we now focus on the case please?"

Castle made a motion with his hand across his lips like he was zipping them.

* * *

_As they walked into the main area of the restaurant, Beckett was taken a little aback._

_"Madison," said Beckett._

_A tall, blonde woman turned from the PR lady she was talking to. The PR lady excused herself._

_"Becks," said Mattie, "What are you doing here?"_

_"I'm a homicide detective," said Beckett._

_Madison looked at Beckett, "Shut the front door," she said sounding surprised._

_"I know," Beckett said as she and Madison hugged, "I know right?"_

_The two women pulled back and looked at each other._

_"What a messed up way for us to reconnect," said Madison._

_Beckett suddenly remembered she was not a lone, having seen Castle's amusement from her peripheral vision._

_"Madison Keller, this is Richard Castle."_

Madison sized him up but didn't give any tells away that she remembered him.

_"Hi," she said._

_"Hi, please call me Rick. How do you two know each other?"_

And apparently neither did Castle or Beckett for that matter.

_"High school," said Madison, "Ninth grade French. I can't believe the biggest scoff-lad sty became a cop."_

_Beckett smiled, "Yeah."_

After the greetings Beckett still had a job to do. The three of them took a seat at one of the tables and Beckett began asking about Wolfe's life, his time on the show, if he'd had any enemies, things like that. She even apologized for needing to know Madison's alibi. They discussed a little bit more about Wolfe and then Esposito came up saying they had found something in the kitchen; dirty bowls and a pot of popcorn soup.

As Mattie was getting contact information from Wolfe, Castle waited patiently beside Beckett.

_"High school friend hu, I bet she knows where all your bodies are buried."_

_"You can dig all you want Castle; my secrets are safe with her."_

_"How can you be sure?_ I mean after all I do remember her from all those years ago."

"Maybe so but that doesn't mean she'd spill, especially to you. She hates you as far as I know._ And besides, whatever she knows about me I know worse about her. We used to hang out, a big group of us; had a good time."_

"I know you did," Castle said with a coy smile.

Beckett had wanted to slap Castle in the chest but couldn't as Mattie returned with the information.

* * *

The case continued to travel on various paths- talks with friends who were Wolfe's next of kin, David Nicolaides, and Domingo the line chef who had planned on leaving the country, Wolfe's rival on Kitchen Wars and various other people of interest. So far none of the leads were panning out.

Beckett and Castle later had to pay Mattie another visit to identify a woman in a sketch. Mattie was hanging on as best she could but life stopped for no one and so she was busy trying to find a new chef. To add to the stress Mattie had a charity event to attend and things might look bad if she didn't show.

She offered Beckett to go to with her but Beckett declined. She didn't say why but she had wanted to check in on her side case. During the stress of the day she had found the center where Alexis had been kept and had made plans to visit child protective services.

Castle on the other hand had other ideas as he offered to go instead so Mattie wouldn't show up stag, asking Beckett if that would be a problem and Beckett said it wasn't.

* * *

The day later as it was coming to evening the case had gotten closer but there were still some ends that needed to fit.

_Mattie showed up dressed nicely and with a large basket of goodies. Beckett thanked her for them as they walked to her desk._

_Mattie took a breath and then asked, "Hey Becks, do you remember when we used to like the same guy in English class?"_

_"Yes, Brent Edwards, he was very hot."_

_"Yes. Do you also remember what happened senior year?"_

_Beckett wanted to lie but didn't, "Uh, yeah, why?"_

_"This date with Rick, if you guys are at all-,"_

_"Castle, no no," Beckett said a little too quickly._

_"Are you sure, because I really wouldn't want Brent Edwards to happen all over again."_

_"Trust me it's not."_

"Okay great. Are you sure you can't come though? Great location, great food."

"I'm sure. I'm working on another case _but um have fun tonight."_

_"Thanks you too."_

Beckett didn't bother to watch as Mattie left. Instead she took a deep breath, glad that conversation was over.

* * *

Shortly after Beckett had left the office and then arrived at child protective services.

"You said your name was Beckett," asked the supervisor, Jaina Alva.

"That's right," said Beckett.

"And how long ago did you give up the child?"

Beckett swallowed, "Fourteen years ago."

"You do understand that you had chosen a closed adoption so I couldn't tell you the child's placement even if I wanted."

"I understand that. All I need to know is if the name of the baby's father was listed on the original birth certificate."

"Normally you'd need a court order to obtain this kind of information," said Alva, "but given that you are with the NYPD and this is your own personal case I can make an exception."

Jaina Alva pulled out Alexis' original file. "Nope," she said, "Baby Beckett's father was unlisted."

"You're sure?"

Alva turned the monitor so that Beckett could see for herself. A lot of the old paper files had been updated to computer systems.

"Is there any possible way that her father could have known, either through these services or by some of the workers that handled the case?"

"Now for that you will need a court order Detective. Often times we've had parents come in and threaten our social workers. You understand."

Beckett nodded. "Thanks for your time," she said.

Beckett felt defeated as she walked out of the building. She was still essentially nowhere but she had no time to dwell on it. Esposito had left Beckett a message on her phone, which she had turned off as she entered the building, saying that she would need to pay her best friend a visit. Beckett called back to inquire why and both Ryan and Espo explained that Wolfe wanted out of contract and that Mattie stood to lose millions on him.

* * *

_"Okay," said Mattie as Beckett had her in an interrogation room, "Next time I'm hitting on a guy you like, come clean with me before I go out with him so you don't have to arrest me to break up the date."_

_"Madison, that's not-," Beckett started to say but was cut off._

_"N, n, n, n, no I get it: you're hot for Castle. You wanna make little Castle babies_ but wait you've all ready done that haven't you!"

Madison and Beckett looked at each other, both realizing the words that had come out of Madison's mouth.


	12. Every Storm

**Chapter 11. Every Storm**

* * *

Beckett continued to look at Madison who looked from side to side and then at Beckett. There was no finding a way out of this one, not when Beckett was so close to the door.

"How did you know that," Beckett asked sounding more like a defeated human being instead of a strong willed cop.

"You told me," said Madison.

"No," Beckett said seeing straight through the lie, "No I never told anyone who the father was, not even you."

From the observation room Ryan and Esposito had arrived to watch Beckett interrogate her friend and had heard Madison drop the ball.

"Dude what's she talking about," Esposito asked.

"Nothing," Castle said masking it with a nervous laugh. "Don't you guys have other leads to catch up on something?"

The boys looked at each other.

"No," said Ryan, "We're good."

Castle looked back at the room, "Perfect," he said between his teeth.

"How did you know that," Beckett asked again.

"You're parents may have told me I don't know."

"Try again and this time Madison, sit down."

The blonde woman did as the brunette commanded. She had not seen this side of Beckett before and it was a bit frightening.

"I didn't even tell my mom and dad," said Beckett. "So Madison, how did you know?"

"What about your case? What about Wolfe?"

Beckett knew there were other detectives just as qualified.

"Madison!"

"Alright fine! It wasn't that hard to figure out. I may be blonde but I'm that much of an idiot. After that party you weren't really focused on other guys so when you told me you were pregnant I knew it was Rick who knocked you up."

Ryan and Esposito both looked at Castle.

"I'm thirsty, anyone thirsty?" Castle asked.

Ryan blocked the exit.

"You never told us you and Beckett knew each other," said Ryan.

"And bro, you got her knocked up, seriously?" asked Espo.

Instead of answer the questions all Castle could do was turn back and watch.

"Is there anything else," Beckett asked.

"Like what?"

"Madison, don't play games with me. You said that I had all ready… made a baby with Castle."

"Yeah, so?"

"So you just met him yesterday. How could you have known he had a kid? Something tells me you two weren't exactly getting personal at dinner. I know you met at a party a few months into it but even then I never told you who he was."

Again Madison had been caught.

Mattie sighed, "My step mom was the specialist with social services and worked on your case."

This stopped Beckett short. "But I didn't even put Castle's name on the original birth certificate so how do you explain that?"

"Well when I figured out it was castle's I told Nancy Daniels about you," Madison said referring to her step-mom by her name.

"So let me get this straight: You told your step mom about me and who the father was and because of some odd timing of Castle wanting a kid she deliberately placed Harper with Castle knowing full well that he was the biological father but no one informed him about it?"

"Pretty much."

Beckett needed a moment to process. She stood up and paced a bit in the room.

"How could you do this? To me, to Castle?"

"I didn't mean for it to snowball out of control, Becks. I was sad that you were giving up your baby and since I knew who the father was I thought it might be okay if she was raised by one of her parents."

"And Daniels, she just went through with it?"

"She was a foster kid so yeah. If there was a chance a kid could stay with their biological family then she would make sure that happened no matter the cost. It's why they fired her. Her job was to find homes for unwanted kids, not keep families together."

The door opened and the captain stood looking not too pleased.

"Detective, a word," said Montgomery.

* * *

Montgomery closed the door to his office so that it was only him and Beckett.

"What the hell was that?" he asked not waiting for an answer. "You're one of my best detectives, Beckett, but ever since Castle arrived you've been off your game. I have been letting it slide until now. You didn't even stay on the Wolfe case. Now you and Castle clearly have a history that no one knew about but I'm asking you now Kate, what's going on?"

Beckett looked out Montgomery's window to the bullpen seeing Castle in the chair near her desk.

"It's personal sir," said Beckett.

"Don't give me that. It's a matter of public record given that Ryan and Esposito heard the whole thing and we have the interrogation on tape."

Montgomery pulled out a flask from his desk and gave it to Beckett. She unscrewed the top and took a swig, then gave it back after wiping the top with her hand. She turned her back on the window that faced Castle.

"I got pregnant when I was sixteen," she said coming clean with her boss. "Castle got me pregnant. Back then he wasn't Richard Castle famous writer, he was just Rick Rogers to me, just the guy I met at a party. That's all it was at least that's all it was supposed to be. Castle never knew."

"Until I put him on the case and back in your orbit. I'm sorry Kate, if I would have known-,"

Beckett shook it off, "It wouldn't have mattered."

"I'll hand the Wolfe case off to Ryan and Esposito. You should take a few days to deal with your family situation."

"Sir, I don't have a family. There's Castle and a daughter I barely know. I don't even deserve to call her that."

"Well regardless, take the time. You won't be docked days or pay."

"How long?"

"As much time as you need."

"Thank you sir."

Beckett could have easily contested Montgomery but he would have ordered her to take the time giving her no choice and as good a detective as she was she knew she couldn't do her job and be objective when there was so much going on in her head. Sometimes a person needed to pause and re-evaluate where things stood before they could do their job effectively.

* * *

"So how much trouble are you in," Castle said standing up as Beckett came to her desk.

"Not too much. Where are the boys?"

"Talking to that blabber mouth of a friend."

Beckett only nodded. "So you heard all that hu?" Castle nodded. "The boys too?" Again Castle nodded. "I'm sorry Castle, I messed all of this up."

"Hey what's done is done. Look let's just start over. You remember the first time we met?"

"How could I forget you were so full of yourself?"

"Hey, I'm a writer it's my job for my ego to get to my head."

Beckett laughed a little as he had used those words way back when.

Castle smiled too, "I'm Rick Castle by the way," he said extending his hand.

"Kate Beckett," Beckett said shaking his hand.

"So what do you say Beckett, care for a drink? Not as a date, just as two people getting to know each other."

"And nothing serious after?"

"Nope I won't even flirt. Do guys flirt? I won't make any come-ons. I'll be a perfect gentleman and not the douche bag that I am with most women."

"Well then how can I say no to that? I know this perfect place, The Old Haunt."

"The Old Haunt are you kidding? I've always liked it there. I've always wanted to buy that place too, who knows."

Beckett shook her head as she and Castle walked out of the precinct for the night.

* * *

**[END-?]**

_Author's Note: Okay so I know this story was rocky and had it's errors and I apologize for that._

_What I want to know now is if I should continue this story, ie go on with Chapter 12/13 etc._

_or_

_should I start a part 2 which will continue the story in that way?_


	13. Special Feature

_Author's Note: Oh yeah, I forgot I had this. It's the soundtrack I made at the start when I was writing this story. _

_Oh and I have decided to go ahead and open a Part 2 to this story! I liked how Part 1 ended so it makes sense to start fresh with a second part. Currently writing it so I'll have it up soon so stay tuned!_

_In the mean time I hope you enjoy the tracks that were my guideline and lifeline as I wrote what I am now dubbing "The Skydive Series"._

* * *

**The Skydive Series Soundtrack**

**(Part I):**

1. Gloriana- Can't Shake You

2. Jerrod Niemman- Drink to that All Night

3. Florida Georgia Line- This Is How We Role

4. Jana Kramer- Whiskey

5. Rascal Flatts- Rewind

6. Luke Bryan- Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye

7. Gary Allan- Every Storm

8. Miranda Lambert- I Just Really Miss You

9. The Band Perry- Don't Let Me Be Lonely

10. Cassadee Pope- Wasting All These Tears

11. Reba- Consider Me Gone

12. Lily Kershaw- Maybe

13. Luke Bryan- Drink a Beer

14. Indians- Somewhere Else

15. Dierks Bentley- I Can't Forget Her

16. Miranda Lambert/Keith Urban- We Were Us

17. Florida Georgia Line- Stay

18. Chris Young- Who I Am With You

19. Thomas Square- If I Didn't Have You

20. Rascal Flatts- Why Wait

21. Bonus: OTown- Skydive

* * *

**The Themes in the Playlist:**

Title. Track #1

The Party. Tracks #2-4

Wanting to Forget. Tracks #5-6

Kate Misses Castle. Tracks #7-12

Castle Misses Kate. Tracks #13-17

Caskett Always. Tracks #18-20


End file.
